Viewing life curiously.
Right in the middle of telling me about finally meeting this amazing woman, on-line no doubt as a growing number of single adults are doing now-a-days, Derrick’s cellphone vibrated alerting him of a new text message. Without missing a beat, he grabbed it, read the message, and gently placed the phone back on the table.
“That wasn’t her.” He said, but without the same smile on his face and in his voice like minutes before as he boasted about her love for animals, dream of owning her own horse farm and doing a lot of rescue work for all sorts of animals, and her dedication to her three children – two boys and a girl. As a matter of fact, Derrick had dominated the conversation describing how amazing his new interest was. I knew about the ink on her various body parts – the blue rose is his favorite. On and on and on he’d talked about her. I understood his enthusiasm because he’d been so cautious about meeting people on the internet. As a matter of fact, Derrick hadn’t dated anyone seriously in five years. As a single dad he’d concentrated on nurturing his son and also adjusting to a career change.
They met via a inquiry she sent regarding a comment he’d made on a mutual friend’s Facebook page. That was 8 months ago and he has yet to hear her voice because they have only engaged in conversation via text and direct messaging. He says he’s enjoying the journey of getting to know her with the hope of developing a solid friendship.
His cell vibrated again, and once again…it wasn’t her. “That was work. I’ve got to be at a meeting in the Village in an hour.”, he said as he gazed off into the distance. I may have just as well been speaking Ursprache as I inquired about the meeting, because his thoughts were elsewhere.
As I called for the waiter to retrieve our check, Derrick mumbled that the meeting was to provide support for his team that was presenting for a new client. He insisted upon paying for lunch, because his company’s per diem covered it. Heading for the 8th street rail, I asked him how much she knew about him. If she’d indeed been as curious about his life, as he was of hers, for I truly believe in order to fuse a relationship both have to exhibit curiosity. And this man, who had just filled our hour long conversation with exuberance about his delight of a newfangled relationship, was now…silent. And he remained that way for several blocks, until the ominous blare of the horn of an approaching cab shook him out of his meditative state, and he replied, “You know, she doesn’t ask much about me at all.” He swore to me it wasn’t the next episode of ‘Catfish’, because he’d been provided plenty of evidence she is real via constant photo and conversation updates on Facebook and Instagram. And even though she said her schedule was full with work and the three children, she still managed to avoid replying to him at times she suggested they would chat. His last correspondence from her had been 72 hours prior and it was in response to his request that she contact him when she wasn’t busy. Her reply…
“Ok. I will.”
When a direct response is required, for some a brazenly honest reply could seem callous, whereas with Derrick and me that was the only answer expected. So, when he asked what I thought about the situation, her not asking questions about him nor keeping her word to reply, I looked him square in the eyes and said, “My friend, she’s just not that into you.”
As his train arrived, prior to boarding, he thanked me for meeting him for lunch and said he’d be in touch in a couple of days to let me know how the meeting with the client went, and if he’d heard from his new-found-friend. I assured him the client would be impressed by his team, and asked him not to get his hopes up about the i-girl.
I walked to the nearby bench and took a seat with hope that I was wrong about her for the sake of my friend’s happiness.
UPDATE 48 hours later:
Derrick called to share the exciting news that his team had closed the client which helped them exceed their third quarter goal. And upon inquiring about his i-girl, I was left intrigued by his response, “Ah…the perils of the mystery known as woman.”